


On the Other Side of the Glass

by my_little_nightmare



Category: Renegades - Marissa Meyer
Genre: F/F, Kinda, Yearning, i have mixed feelings on this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28037715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_little_nightmare/pseuds/my_little_nightmare
Summary: "Though Narcissa never told anyone, she went back to that house countless times. She watched through any small reflective surface she could, trying to imagine herself in that girl’s shoes. Ace Anarchy fell, and order returned to Gatlon, making it harder for her and her grandpa to get by.  No weapons sales, so she had to steal as much as possible.  Narcissa barely ever had time for the butterfly girl.  But, when her grandpa was busy, she slipped away, and pretended that she and the butterfly girl were best friends."
Relationships: Danna Bell | Monarch/Narcissa Cronin
Kudos: 5





	On the Other Side of the Glass

The first time Narcissa Cronin saw Danna Bell, she was only seven years old. She had been traveling through mirrors, looking for an empty home, one that was full of food and other things to take. Her grandfather had told her to take anything of value, and that was what she was doing. A bag stuffed full hung heavy in her hand. She felt a little guilty, but she ignored that feeling. They did what they needed to to survive. Just like everyone else. She needed to help her grandfather. He was all she had. He couldn’t survive on his own and she couldn’t either.   
Narcissa looked out through the mirror to her right. Was anyone in the room? No, a quick glance confirmed that it was empty. It looked like a bathroom. This was where she normally ended up. It was the main spot for mirrors. She poked her head through the cold glass, it flowing over her head. It was a weird sensation, traveling through mirrors. Like diving through a pool of ice cold water, but not getting wet. She suppressed a shudder as her head emerged.   
Just to jerk it back in.  
A door slammed closed, and a little girl stormed into the bathroom, her face wet with tears. Her frizzy blond hair tied up into twin buns. She sniffed deeply, and curled down to the floor.   
“Danna,” a voice yelled, right outside the bathroom. “Danna, let me in!”  
She shook her head. “No,” her quivering voice replied. “Go away!”  
“Danna, sweetie, you have to come out. I’m sorry I yelled, but you have to understand why,” the voice pleaded. “It’s too dangerous for you outside. I don’t want you to get hurt.”  
“You want me to pretend to be ordinary?” Narcissa could hear the scorn in her voice. “You want me to pretend to be someone I’m not?”   
“Just for now. It’s too dangerous.”  
The little girl- Danna, stood up, and cracked the door open a tiny bit. “I don’t wanna hide who I am. I’m not gonna pretend to be a civilian. That’s not who I am.” Her body burst into a swarm of butterflies, and flew through the door, away from whoever was talking to her. And away from Narcissa. She shook herself. Why was she spending so much time thinking about a civilian? She had to get back to her grandpa. He was counting on her.   
Narcissa kept moving forward, looking through the next mirror, thoughts still stuck on the little girl made of butterflies.   
\---  
Though Narcissa never told anyone, she went back to that house countless times. She watched through any small reflective surface she could, trying to imagine herself in that girl's shoes. Ace Anarchy fell, and order returned to Gatlon, making it harder for her and her grandpa to get by. No weapons sales, so she had to steal as much as possible. Narcissa barely ever had time for the butterfly girl. But, when her grandpa was busy, she slipped away, and pretended that she and the butterfly girl were best friends. Narcissa would invent fantastical scenes in her mind, where she walked out of the mirror, and she became closer to her than anything. But she remembered her grandpa's warnings. And she just watched from the other side of the glass as Danna grew.   
—-  
Narcissa knew the Renegades wanted as many prodigies, but she never thought her butterfly would believe their lies. That’s how she had started to think of Danna. Hers. The girl who didn’t even know she existed. Her butterfly. Narcissa watched from the sides as Danna did push ups, and sit ups, and sprinted for miles and miles on end. But she never could find out why. No one else was pushing themselves to such extreme limits. So why was Danna? And then it dawned on her.   
Danna was a prodigy. A powerful one. SHe was also a good person, who wanted to do good.   
Danna was training to join the Renegades.   
When Narcissa realized what she was preparing for, she ran away, and sobbed for hours. She knew there was no chance of her foolish childhood dream coming now.   
No. Danna was with the enemy, and she would never be Narcissa’s.   
The next time Nova visited with Ingrid, she kissed her behind a bookshelf, trying to replace an aching hole in her heart. And it worked. At least for a while.   
But Nova… well she was so different from Danna.   
She was angry, passionate, and rebellious. She moved too fast, and spoke too loud. Narcissa liked her certainly, but did she love her? No. Narcissa realized that her childhood fantasies had grown into something so much bigger. She had a crush on Danna Bell, a Renegade. Her enemy.   
“No,” her mind whispered. “Not your enemy. She’s your butterfly.” But Narcissa couldn’t deny the truth. Even if Danna liked girls, the chances were low enough already, they could never be together. They were opposite sides of a battle that never ended, and Narcissa wasn’t going to betray her grandfather for a girl she had never even met.   
Still, in the middle of the night, Narcissa couldn’t help creeping through a mirror, and into Danna’s room. She traced the sleeping girl’s face with her nail, and brushed a blonde dreadlock away from her forehead.   
She knew how incredibly stupid it was for her to be there, but she needed to see Danna’s face. She needed to know whether her heart really belonged to this girl. And it did. It beat with each breath, the subtle rise and fall of her chest giving Narcissa life. Her hand ached to be clenched between Danna’s long fingers, and she wanted to cup Danna’s dark face between her hands, and kiss her lips until she forgot about everything. Until she forgot about every illegal thing her grandpa had ever done. Until she forgot how many criminals like her Danna had caught. Until they weren’t heroes and villains. Just two girls in love. Narcissa stretched out her skinny fingers, and brushed Danna’s cheeks.   
Narcissa gasped in pain. It hurt to be so close… but at the same time, so far.   
Danna stirred, and flickered open her eyelids.   
Narcissa darted into the mirror, her heartbeat thudding in her ears. Danna rubbed her eyes blearily, and scanned the room, but no one was there. Obviously. She couldn’t see Narcissa from where she crouched inside the mirror. Even half asleep, Danna was absolutely breathtaking. Apparently deciding she was fine, she lay back down. Narcissa cast one last longing glance at the sleeping girl, and darted off through the mirrors, heading home.   
\---  
Narcissa wished she could say that she gave up on Danna.   
But that would be a lie.   
She did stop watching her when she was alone- it hurt too much to know that it was just the two of them, and only one cared. But everytime Narcissa could, she watched Danna. Especially when she was on patrol. She couldn’t help but worry for Danna. She wished she didn’t but Narcissa always found her feet carrying her to the nearest mirror, for just a glance. She had to make sure Danna was alright. She always was. But Narcissa still checked. Again, and again and again.   
Then one day, she noticed something. Danna was looking at someone in such an achingly familiar way. It was the same way Narcissa looked at Danna.   
But Danna wasn’t looking at her. She was looking at someone else. Her teammate. Ruby? That was her name, wasn’t it? Did it matter?   
Narcissa hadn’t even considered the fact that one day her butterfly would want someone else. Had Narcissa really been that selfish to forget that her butterfly would want a life of her own? Every single thought had been about them, never just her. Never what Danna wanted.   
Narcissa dropped to the bottom of the mirror realm. Her body shook with sobs as she realized exactly how stupid and pointless her crush had been. So she vowed to forget about Danna. Forget the beautiful Renegade even existed. Forget about her, and let them both continue on with their lives. It was better for everyone.   
So Narcissa lay curled in a ball in the bottom of a place only she knew, crying her heart out, knowing everything she wanted was over.   
And she was the only person who knew that it ever existed.   
\---  
A year later, when Narcissa saw the fluttering butterfly on Nova’s dresser, she couldn’t help herself. Her first love surged back to the surface, and let the glass shatter, freeing her trapped love. It did nothing but bring up painful memories, but at least Narcissa had done something good. Even if people thought her intentions were bad, she knew that they were good. What was better than freeing the girl she loved.   
And a few weeks later, when she saw Danna again, those emotions surged up once more. She couldn’t contain her glee. For the first time in 17 years, Danna had seen her face. Danna knew her name. Danna knew she existed. It was hard to stop smiling for hours after.   
And even later, when she saw Danna trapped in the cathedral, she knew that she was going to have to make the final decision. Whether she wanted to be the person she had grown up to be. To stick with her grandfather's path. Or to do something good. Do something brave. Be a hero.   
She did what Danna would have done. And now, everything was perfect.   
Her butterfly was now truly hers.   
And Narcissa wasn’t alone anymore. Her mirror had found it’s reflection.

**Author's Note:**

> just ignore narcissa being kinda creepy and watching danna through mirrors. when i wrote it it seemed cute, but now its kinda :/. just dot thhink to hard about it and its fine


End file.
